About Marnae

I am an artist, writer, mom, partner, dog (animal) admirer, excessive coffee and tea consumer, literary snob, lover of travel and the outdoors.

Posts by Marnae Wright:

NYC 2023 (our longest post yet…)

NYC 2023 (our longest post yet…)

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As I suspected I would happen, I wasn’t entirely truthful in my last post. I wasn’t back to talk about our travels. I rarely posted anything about our lives. I knew days and weeks and activities would sweep us into a frenzy of crazed schedules, bag drops in the living room, only to pick up a different activity’s bag and run off again. Best of hopes and intentions, but realistically, we hurried meals so we could clean up and prepare for another day. I took the photos to remember, but they live on my phone or camera, feeling more like an expectation. “Share me with someone,” they seem to say, “you haven’t even really looked at us again.”

We had spring and summer. The year rolled on. Jeff and I took a trip to Minneapolis. I stayed at the hotel and worked while he attended a conference. During his time off, we went to an art museum and a farm to table restaurant with a walk by the river.

We went to Colorado as a family and finally made it to Meow Wolf, something we have been intending to do for years. It did not disappoint. We attended Jeff’s brother Mitch’s sweet outdoor wedding ceremony by the Arkansas river. Jeff officiated. The boys were groomsmen. We danced and ate and spent time loving on family. Colorado in the summer is invigorating.

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There were baseball games and baseball games and baseball games… Sam had a stress fracture in his elbow so the games were coupled with doctor visits and months of physical therapy and return to throw programs. We swam and hiked and played with lots of friends. There were books and coffee and tea and a garden and museum visits and beautiful nights under the pergola. Summer rolled into fall.

Jeff had a very quick conference in Dallas and I met him there. I decided to put work aside this time except during my 5 hour layover in Denver. While in Dallas, Jeff was on the SMU campus. So we met up in the late morning (after I took advantage of the hotel’s fitness room, pool, and outdoor patio) and walked during his break. I then visited the college’s art museum which was all obtained from Spanish artists. There was a temporary Sorolla exhibit on the upper level I was able to see along with their permanent pieces. Later in the day, Jeff and I decided to go to the new Grapevine Meow Wolf. We made the right choice. The Real Unreal (Dallas) was totally different from Convergence Station (Denver). It was much smaller and easier to get through in a shorter trip, but also a different theme, story and environment. We enjoyed both for their uniqueness.

By this time school was in full swing. Work and coaching and volunteering for the adults, class and activities and music for the kids were eating up all of our time – good things, but going fast. Marching Band was a new one for us this year and it has been an experience. Ben has been preoccupied with it since mid-summer band camp when they were practicing 8 hours a day for a couple of weeks. Every day before school the kids hit the field early and practiced again during school and then again once a week after school. They have competitions on the weekends and tryouts for jazz, show, and honor bands outside of concert band. Ben plays three instruments now. Sam started trumpet this year. Our home is full of music.

The Marching Band succeeded in so many ways this year including entertaining their families who came to watch them about 20 times. I never got sick of their show which is saying something. We were pretty proud – also humble brag, our band is really good, they got high if not top rankings at every competition they participated in. Their hard work paid off. The show the instructors put together was pretty amazing too.

This all culminated in the band’s trip to New York to march in the Veterans’ Day Parade. Ben’s school was 1 of 3 schools invited to march in the parade and they have been planning for this for quite a while, fundraising and practicing. Jeff and I asked Ben if he’d like us to chaperone, admittedly I was kind of hoping he would say, “No.” I don’t function well on little sleep. I don’t sleep well outside of a bed. My migraines are triggered by a lack of sleep. I’m a little leary of my tolerance of that many teenagers for that long. But mostly, Ben is our kid who has a difficult time being away from us, away from home. He never really did sleepovers other than with grandparents and even then he struggled. So I wanted this trip to be a moment of independence for him. I wanted to give him room to stretch his teenage wings and see the wide world with his friends and bright eyes. I love nothing more than to watch newness and enlightenment dawn on the faces of my children, but… roots and wings… I have been trying to work a little extra on Ben’s wings lately. So we were surprised when he said, “No,” but I was a little relieved. He was, however, on board with us taking a vacation with Sam, centered around watching him march. So we planned it. Ben would be riding a bus out, staying in Jersey, and running around the city with the band. We would fly in, stay in Manhattan, and do our own little tour. We made some plans to meet up a couple of times if it would work.

Thursday morning dawned and we all put the finishing touches on our packing, brought the dogs to daycare/boarding and dropped Benny off at the high school. It was both bizarre and exciting watching him walk away with his luggage. We didn’t have long to linger as we had hit the road to Kansas City for our flight. After a drive, a flight, and then a long uber ride into the city, Sam was so over travel for the day. We checked into our hotel and cleaned up a little and decided to get out and walk around. Jeff and I were reminded the Bryant Park Winter Markets would be in full swing with the skating rink and the Christmas tree so we headed that way. Sam fell in love with the park and the fountain, and wanted to spend half our trip there. We stopped for a bit and then walked a little further to show him around Times Square. He hadn’t been there since he was a baby.

Sam came to NY twice when he was small, once when we was 3 months old and again when he was about 10 months. Everything was new to him now. He hated Times Square. It was loud and smelly and probably a bit overwhelming after a long day of travel. He did however love the Disney store, because you know, Disney owns everything now: Marvel, Star Wars, etc. By the time we made our way through there we were all wiped, so we stopped at Whole Foods for water and picked up meals which, honestly was perfect. We settled into our room, Jeff watched the Iowa women’s basketball game. Sam watched the Backyard Scientist. I watched AJR’s live album release on Amazon Music.

Friday morning we got up early and took the subway to the south side of the island for a ferry to Liberty and Ellis Islands. We had tickets booked to the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty first. It was a chilly, windy morning on the boat but the ride out was still breath-taking. We had taken the Staten Island Ferry a couple of times. It did not compare to these views. Stepping off on the island, we took a self-guided tour up further than I expected. We of course took the stairs – we always take the stairs, maybe once we could take an elevator?, but then we would’ve missed the big bolts… so we take the stairs – to the two separate levels to look out. It was a lovely view of the city and Ellis Island, walking all the way around the base and we could still see the statue by looking up. We felt we did well with this tour as we were unable to book the crown (not realizing we needed to do so months in advance). It would be a nice view, but only just higher up and not of the statue. We were satisfied with our tickets.

We talked with Sam a little about how many people came through here and saw this view for the first time, imagining what they felt and where they went from here, and then had children and grandchildren who moved all around the country and what that meant. Then we visited the museum to learn a little about the history of the statue, how it was made, and its meaning. There are two museums on the island. The first we visited in the pedestal seemed odd because it appeared to be missing a lot of pieces. The second, made this understandable. The latter is a newer museum/visitors’ center which houses the old torch, replaced in the 1980s, along with a lot of the replicas and artifacts pertaining to the statue’s build and restorations. We were able to breeze through as most of the information is the same.

Next stop was Ellis Island, we again talked about the cultural and historical significance when we arrived. Sam did the Junior Ranger programs at both islands so he was able to immerse himself a bit in the museum as well. We also had a connection to Ellis Island, Jeff’s great-grandmother’s name is on the wall there. There is a website of records for Ellis Island which anyone can search to find their relatives’ records. Only certain people have their names on the wall. It was interesting and significant to find her there, to know she had been there, to wonder who else of our ancestors may have come through that place, wandered off a boat full of hope or anxiety or both looking for a new life.

On the way back we stopped at Castle Clinton to see what that was. Turns out it was a fort and there was a fascinating Park Ranger who happened to be on duty that day willing to share his passion for history with us. This fort was one of many during the war of 1812 and when the British came into the harbor and saw how fortified New York was they turned around and left. This was huge, because had they attacked and won, or had there not been enough troops – we would have lost everything. New York was where the treasury was at the time, but the British moved on, were defeated elsewhere and the rest is history. The ranger was an art historian – he designed some of the national park stamps, he had Statue of Liberty figures older than the statue herself which had been sold to fund the build. He had old coins from all over the world to show the wear of copper, his oldest was a 2,000 year old Roman coin. We could’ve stayed all night talking to him, but more people arrived and we knew we had more city to see.

So, we hopped on a train, made a quick stop at Grand Central, Sam was super impressed and then headed to the Empire State Building. The lobby windows were decorated with Elf-themed dressings for Christmas. We made another subway stop to catch Benny just off the bus heading into a restaurant to eat – exhausted. We gave him a quick hug and left him to his friends.

We headed back past Macy’s to get pizza (Sam’s two wishes for this trip were the Statue of Liberty and pizza – check and check) which Sam decided we should eat in Bryant Park – so we did! We walked around the Christmas Market a bit and then headed back over to Macy’s to check out the Christmas decorations (the windows weren’t revealed yet, but the inside was totally decked out). We rode the wooden escalators up to the toy floor and played and Sam fell in love with the sugar shop, but it was back to bed for another early morning.

Saturday was Veterans day and the parade was only a block from our hotel. So we had breakfast, grabbed coffees and walked over. We met another band family from a Georgia marching band who were originally from Iowa and Nebraska and had a great time hanging out watching for the bands to come together. It was a big parade with lots of groups of active and military and veterans on motorcycles, horses, fire trucks, police cars, and walking, handing out flags. Seeing our kid march down Fifth Avenue was a pretty amazing experience. We followed him about a block to the NY Public Library. I laughed a little as he glanced up when he noticed it (how couldn’t you?). It was a bigger crowd down there and we couldn’t follow them anymore after that. So we headed over to Central Park.

When we got in to the park we immediately saw parents from our school and got the information on when the students would be meeting up at the park so we knew we’d have some time to explore. We rock climbed and strolled for a bit. Then we found the carousel. There’s this book the boys and I love called Micawber about a squirrel who loves to visit the Met and discovers the joy of painting by sneaking home with an artist one day and stealing some of her paints. He lives in the top of the Central Park Carousel and keeps a museum for all his animal friends up there. We read it often when they were little. Jeff decided to check prices on the carousel and it turned out not only were they reasonable but we could actually ride (not just stand next to the horse like I usually do). So we all three rode. I felt like a kid. We later found out that Ben rode it too. Then we strolled the literary walk and mall and had a hotdog and walked through the grass until we saw the kids arriving so we headed over to Bethesda Fountain to meet them.

Ben was wiped. He said, “hi” and then moved on, distractedly. We decided to as well. We walked for a bit before heading to our next spot when we happened to run into Ben again. So we grabbed him for a family picture. At that point his chaperone discovered who we were and stopped by for a chat. Ben was ready to explore the park with his friends and we were off to The Met so we parted ways.

The Met was a totally different experience for us with Sam along. Typically, Jeff and I skip most of the Egyptian, Greek and Roman, Armor, and furniture rooms and head straight for the artwork. Sam was the opposite. He was really into the stuff we usually skip. So we slowed down and looked at the stuff he liked and he tried to look at some of the stuff we liked or just sat on a bench…until we got to the Van Goghs and Monets.

After the museum, we told him we had a surprise. He was kind of done for the day and wasn’t very happy we were making him go to another spot, but we coaxed him onto the train and told him it would be worth it. When we hopped off in Greenwich he asked if we were going to the Lego store. We told him we could, but we had somewhere else, better. Then we walked about a block and revealed a Harry Potter Store. I had no idea this place existed but was looking at a couple of book stores I wanted to hit and saw it on the map. It. Was. Magical. I’m not trying to be punny – it was, truly. There were piles of wands, shirts for every house, Christmas ornaments, movie props, a whole section was Honeydukes selling candy, a Butterbeer bar…. We wandered around for a long time, made a couple of purchases and finally headed back to bed.

The next morning was Sunday and my birthday. Our plan for the day was to see Ben and go to Moma. Anything else would be frosting on my birthday plans cake. We got up and got ready and headed over to the Radio City/Rockefeller area to see if we could catch Ben around the time he would be arriving for his tour. We got lucky again and arrived about the same time as the busses. Ben hopped off, gave a quick albeit embarrassed birthday hug to his mom and took off with his group while we looked for things to do for an hour. We hadn’t expected to find Ben so quickly. We wandered the area, looking at the skating rink, decorations – the tree was up, but boarded up and being trimmed – stopped in St. Patrick’s and the NBC store. Finally FAO Schwarz opened and we were able to play for a bit. Everyone was having a great time exploring and I knew we would have to make a stop at the big piano before we left, but it was getting close to the time for Moma to open. We finally found our way over to the piano and Sam knew it from the movie Big and got so excited he forgot to take his shoes off to play. He quickly stepped off and as he was attending to that I felt a tap on my shoulder. There was Ben. He ended up coming to the same place we were. We were able to hang out with him for a few minutes until it was time to leave for the museum.

Finally we made our way up to Moma. None of us had been there before. There were so many surprises. Some of the exhibits were new to us and interesting. Some were pieces we had studied or knew well and were excited to discover. Sam was delighted to see a Dali, a Matisse I had included in a poem stopped me, we loved the Monet room, we expected the Van Goghs and still they made me emotional. He always does.

At about 12:30 we were all getting a bit hungry and needed a moment. Now, I should tell you at this point that it wasn’t just by chance that first night that I was watching the AJR live album drop. It comes back into the story now. I knew they were releasing a new album. I knew they were doing a couple of shows while we were in NYC. I had even looked at tickets. They were pretty outrageously priced by the time I looked at them. AJR is my favorite band right now. They got us through lockdown. They are my happy music. They were the first live music we saw in covid-times and it was a euphoric experience to see them and be amongst a crowd of happy people singing and dancing again. Amazon notified me of the live event. I watched, I was following along with what they were doing – it was fun. They had announced the day before that on Sunday noon they would be announcing the name of a park where they would perform a free pop-up show for their fans starting at 1pm. Everyone would have 1 hour to get there. Lucky us, we had bought the unlimited metro cards for the week. Jeff and I talked about it.

At 12:30 when we sat down to figure out lunch, I said, let’s look at what park AJR is in. It was Madison Square Park. Totally doable. Jeff and I discussed it again for just a moment. We told Sam, we are going to do a thing now, another surprise. We checked that we could come back to Moma on our tickets the same day and we found the nearest subway station.

I willed the train to come, to drive faster, for our feet to move. We got there just as it was starting. It was amazing. We stood in the autumn sun with the leaves on the trees turning in the middle of the city, not far from the stage, watching my favorite band. They sang a few of their new songs, a few of their old songs. Such an awesome experience.

Coming out of the park, we watched Jack greet a couple of the super fans and songs ringing in our ears, walked across the street to the Harry Potter store again. We had to go back, it was right there. We walked around a bit again and picked up a couple of things we hadn’t the day before and wished we had. Then we walked the 10 blocks to the Strand Bookstore where I’d been wanting to go for a while, but felt was too far out to ask to go previously, but it was my birthday, so today I asked. 18 miles of books. It was worth it.

We then headed back to Moma. We had to see the 4th floor as recommended by Jeff’s cousin, Lisa. And of course Sam and I wanted to finally see the Moma store in person. We had a hard time getting him to leave. Sam also learned how to dial a phone in the Dial-A-Poem room which was a thoroughly entertaining experience.

Stepping out onto the sidewalk at dusk with the lights of Christmas decorations and the city all coming on was pretty magical. We headed back toward the hotel area. The boys asked what I wanted for dinner. I said, “honestly, pizza in the park and some hot chocolate sound pretty great”. So we made our way through the Lindt store, over to get pizza, and then to Angelina (the spot we got hot chocolate in Paris) and sat in Bryant Park one more time for dinner. It was a pretty fantastic birthday.

In the morning we had an early flight, so we packed up, took an uber to the airport and flew to Kansas City. It was fairly uneventful travel home. We drove to Iowa and had plenty of time to settle in before picking up Ben – who rode the bus back on almost no sleep. We were all tired, Ben most of all. Going back to normal life the next day, it took us a few days to catch up on sleep, recover, unpack and share our experiences with one another. It was such an interesting trip with just Sam, Jeff, and me. Ben came back with changed opinions on a lot of things – it was so good for us all to have these experiences, but in the end, we were glad to have the gang back together.

All the Music and More…

All the Music and More…

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The last week of February connected with the first week of March which was a week of all the music (and additional activities…) Monday night we were able to attend an Honor Choir concert in Pella. Several Iowa schools chose students outstanding in their choirs to perform together on this evening. They practiced separately for weeks prior to the day, then spent that day with guest conductors singing together as a group, learning methods and coordinating. This was Ben’s second year to be chosen and the event was again packed and a fun one to attend for both the kids and parents.

Tuesday we attended Parent/Teacher conferences for Sam and the subsequent Book Fair. Sam has a brand new teacher and 4th-grade team this year who have been doing some really creative things in the classrooms. We are enjoying the approach so far and he is feeling challenged by his extended learning. This is the first time in our nine years at our elementary school outside of covid lockdown that we have been unable to work at the Book Fair – it felt very strange. We did make a quick loop through and purchased a couple of post-conference books.

After conferences, we were off to Ben’s Pops Choir Concert. The 8th and 9th graders performed together for this and it was a remarkably entertaining show. They sang songs by Neil Diamond and Backstreet Boys. Ben practiced so much at home his brother and his friends are now fans, especially of Backstreet Boys.

Thursday brought us Northview Night where the Middle School hosted an evening of Show Choir and solo entertainment. We were able to experience the full range of talent from the eighth-graders during the breaks between acts. Ben’s girlfriend performed a rendition of Burn – she’s clearly a theater kid and gives depth to her rendering, some kids acted kind of goofy, and some performers were very polished. We also were able to observe all the show choir teams our kids could be involved in over the next few years. Their performances were all unique and gave me hope for what is ahead.

Saturday was a full day of baseball tryouts for the guys and I had coaches’ training for a running group I am working with. I followed this up by taking the boys and the girlfriend to some of our favorite shops around town and then finally… home. Sunday brought us the usual baseball camps for Jeff and Sam and Ben and I got to have our coffee shop time.

Monday was conferences for Ben all night. Tuesday was a brand new event at Sam’s school called Wax Museum. The 4th-graders put it on in the cafeteria after hours. Sam was Chadwick Boseman. He dressed up, made a poster board and a presentation, and had to stand still until we pressed his “button” and he delivered a prepared speech. Each child presented on someone who made a difference or big changes in some way. They were impressive in their presentations and costumes. It was such a great event.

We finished out the night with baseball pictures and appropriately, the end of Wakanda Forever. I think our next movie may be 42…

And with that last adventure, we are caught up to the present. And I am taking a bit of a break. I have been trying to post once a week for 52 weeks. I’m not sure where I am in that process, but my other work isn’t getting the attention it needs while I am keeping up with this. I will be back. I will be putting some things up on social media. I will post on our trips. But I also need to pay attention to when I need a break. Thank you all for following along and I will write again very soon!

A sleepover and a night out

A sleepover and a night out

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The last weekend in February was a pretty exciting one. It started with Ben’s last basketball game of the season. It was a little bittersweet. This season of basketball has been a bit grueling with practice every single night and Ben felt like he was missing out on some of the activities he really enjoyed after school, like Knowledge Bowl practice and Board Game club to name a few – not to mention the scheduling difficulties it caused. We did thoroughly enjoy watching him play. He really improved over the season, getting fast and more aggressive on the court, grabbing a lot of rebounds and a few steals, and putting up some baskets. I think this may have been our last season of basketball out of him, however. From here we will likely just get driveway ball – I do love banging into him in the driveway though.

The big excitement at our house was our first sleepover. Sam has been asking to have some kids overnight for a while. One of his friends had a pretty big life event recently and Sam and he have become really tight and wanted to celebrate together. So, we invited him over. Ben wasn’t big into sleepovers so this was a first for our family. Ben’s girlfriend came over to hang out and the kids all had pizza and ice cream and we played some games. Sam and his friend took advantage of their time together with Rocket League and Oculus – which just seemed silly to me because they can play these things together when they aren’t in the same house… Sam’s friend decided he loves our dogs, even though I’m fairly certain he is allergic to them. We all played Wii. The boys stayed up way too late and we were all tired the next day.

We took Sam’s friend home at noon. He could have honestly stayed all day, he is the sweetest kid and we all had fun with him here. Saturday evening, Jeff and I had a date. There’s a local musician, Allegra Hernandez, whose shows I thoroughly enjoy, and a friend of ours let us know she was going to be playing in the Drake neighborhood, so we decided to make a night of it.

While sitting at Malo for dinner we were trying to think back to the last time we had gone out to eat by ourselves and it had been months. Any date activity outside of food had been even longer. It was crazy that we had let it go this long. Before we left for the night I had been sitting at home thinking of ways to get out of it because I really didn’t want to make the effort to get dressed and leave. While I knew from prior experience I would be happy we had, it was hard to believe sitting in my sweats, surrounded by dogs with my book singing her siren song. But my wisdom from experience was right – she usually is, it was worth it.

We had a great dinner. I got Jeff to try barbacoa, he fell in love, and a sweet friend gave us a recipe – we now have cooking plans. We went to the show. I can’t remember the last time I had a hand stamp. I was awash with memories of all the live music I used to see. Allegra plays in this really unique style. I read once that a lot of the music she listened to growing up was 90s grunge, you can hear it. There are undertones of that Nirvana, Seattle sound in there, with a smattering of the punk rock that their sound grew out of, but she’s given it an updated flair with not only her own style but the lyrical themes. We watched her play with a band we hadn’t seen before which had more of a jam-band feel to it. It was a fun show. The last band of the night came on, it was a Poppy-Paramore-esque-Rubbersuit band. We headed home early. The boys were disappointed – they wanted more screw around on youtube and video games time – they needed sleep.

Sunday Jeff and Sam were off to baseball camp and Ben and I got to have our coffee shop time.

Mid-February Break

Mid-February Break

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Thursday, February 16th we had a snow day. I’m not sure the schools didn’t build in too many and figured they better use them now or they’d miss their chance. There wasn’t all that much snow to speak of. It was cold and windy but it’s been worse. We took the day to relax after our previous crazy week and build a fort. (Well the boys relaxed – Jeff went to work and I worked from home – I did get in on the fort action, however). Sam decided to pad the base of the fort with a dog bed and from there he officially had to share. It was so nice to be playing and fort-building and just taking a little time out to have some fun. Our last fort prior to this was during spring break of 2020 so it was time.

Friday the kids were back in school and it was Sammy’s half-birthday so Jeff and I surprised him by visiting the school for lunch. It was also our first Friday night without show choir. So, we took advantage and headed down to Dome after Dark at the Botanical Center. The boys weren’t as thrilled as we were about being there so our visit was short. Jeff and I enjoyed it for the time we were there and honestly, it was nice to know that we could pop in and out with our membership and not have to worry about getting our money’s worth. When we got home we had some chocolate chip cookies to celebrate Sam being 10 and a half.

Saturday, Sam and I spent some time together at a coffee shop. He taught me to play Trash, which is a card game he learned recently. This kid is really good at card and board games. I am in over my head with him. He has a very strategic mind. Luckily this game is one of chance, so I won – this time. He beats me at nearly everything else.

Sunday, Sam and Jeff were off to baseball (where he got his new uniform) so Ben and I had our turn at the coffee shop. Ben likes to just sit and chat, so that is what we did. It has since become a Sunday afternoon tradition for us. And I love it.

Monday was President’s Day. I didn’t want to spend another day hanging out at home, so we picked up Ben’s girlfriend and headed downtown for lunch. Afterward, we spent some time touring the sculpture garden. The boys love this place, as do I. They like to climb the walls and run around. I like to talk to them about the artwork. This time I spent a little time listening to the walking tour – just snippets – it was cold and the kids still do interrupt a lot. Maybe one day I will go down there alone and listen. The girlfriend said she hadn’t been there before so I think it was fun for the boys to show her around. She brought her camera and played around with taking some photos. It was a good afternoon, with the sun shining and spring starting to show her face.

Thriving in the Middle

Thriving in the Middle

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Sometimes adventures look like 8 states in a day or climbing a waterfall. Sometimes they look like a weekend of every school activity all at once. This last weekend, our adventure was a whirlwind of the latter and a series of lasts.

I am so often confused in a school district that so thoughtfully makes it possible for kids to participate in both sports and the arts but somehow schedules all of the programs for the arts to not allow for the kids to sleep. We, however, got everywhere we needed to be with outfits and uniforms and sometimes extra children fed and in tow.

Wednesday night we took advantage of the beautiful weather and walked the dogs to meet Ben after basketball. The unseasonably warmer temps were enjoyed by all, especially I think, Bella whose mood started to lift after we discovered she had an infection in her surgically removed tooth and got some meds to rid her of that and ease the pain. She’d been getting understandably grumpy, the poor girl.

Thursday night Ben had a basketball game in which he saw quite a bit of playtime, immediately followed by a band concert. He played in two bands that evening, his group band and a special project his band instructor initiated this year. It’s called Winds and is a sort of Honor Band. Ben is the only bass clarinet player at his school and really enjoys playing. The concert ran longer than expected so we rushed home and ate a quick dinner – pasta soup, per the request of Ben’s friend, took her home and everyone was off to a late bedtime.

The next morning was the usual early Show Choir practice for Ben. This means on Fridays he is gone from 6:50 am until 10:45 pm. It has been a big change to get used to. So we were now on bag number three. (Basketball – uniform and water bottle – check, Band dress blacks – make sure you have all your music, the instrument is at school – check, Show Choir – extra clothes, money for food, chargers, water bottle etc. – check…) This Friday was his last Show Choir competition. The season was going by so fast!

Friday was also Friendship Party Day at the Elementary Schools. This year Sam and his very good friend are finally in the same class. This means his mom, who is a dear friend of mine, and I got to plan the classroom parties. For this last one, we were invited to come to the classroom to help. It was so much fun. We did crafts and played games. We totally ran out of time to finish we had too many things planned. Each party I have expected to be our last. Once the kids reached third grade, they started planning their own parties. If the parents help, it’s a bonus. My kids have had incredibly kind teachers who have allowed me to participate and I am so very grateful to them. I hope I can next year again, but I don’t expect it – it is such a nice time to get to come help out, connect with the kids in my kids’ lives, and be a participant in the school community.

Friday night after school, we headed over to Urbandale and cheered on our Ignition Show Choir for their last competitive event. They did a really great job. They looked more at ease and light this time. Their transitions between songs were loose and playful. Their smiles felt genuine. We have one more night to watch them perform. It’s a night celebrating all of the Ankeny Show Choirs. I’m really looking forward to it. I knew I was going to enjoy this. I had no idea I was going to enjoy it this much. I will be sad to see it end and look forward to another year next year.

Saturday morning brought us to Sam’s last basketball game. This has been a great season of basketball for Sam. Jeff and I have coached a lot of basketball over the years. I stepped aside the last couple of years and this year Jeff decided to be assistant instead of head coach. I think this was hard for him at first, but when he realized this meant working with the kids without dealing with the administrative stuff, (read: emails) he saw the brighter side of things. He co-coached with someone for whom he has a lot of respect and their differing methods allowed them to learn from each other. Sam got to have his dad as a coach, friends as teammates, and a fun season of learning new drills, practicing lay-ups and blocks, and sometimes seeing how far away he could get to shoot. The kids all felt a sense of camaraderie and improvement.

After basketball, we made the 40-minute drive to the band competition. Ben played twice again on this day in a large group competition [Here’s bag number 4 – dress blacks again [washed after basketball and stage sweat], more money for food, water bottle, chargers, etc.) This was his first time trying something like this. It was fun to watch and hear what the judges had to say to the different groups. They were patient and worked with them, allowing them to play a few lines of the pieces to show them different ways of hearing the way it could be played. I thought it was a good experience for the kids to have an outside expert ear give them feedback in that way.

Sunday, Sam had two baseball camps. He made it to one. The other was optional. He worked with High School coaches and players on throwing and catching and got some good tips. He was there with a friend and I am positive will work with him on what they learned. Ben and I carved out a little time to spend together at a coffee shop while Sam and Jeff went to baseball. The second camp was optional, because everyone, including our family, knew they would be watching the Super Bowl.

Sam is a Chiefs fan. Sam is a Mahomes fan. Mahomes is part owner of the Royals and was almost drafted into the MLB, plus he’s a really good player and an all-around good guy. Sam became a Mahomes/Chiefs fan about 5 years ago and I am willing to follow that. Everyone else in this house was a Bears fan, that didn’t ever suit me. So we all cheered for the Chiefs, enjoyed the commercials and half-time show (I like Rihanna), and ate – we always do Super Bowl food well. This year I made Southwest Eggrolls, and Jeff made chili and cinnamon rolls. We went to bed late again…

It was a wild weekend of so much. I can’t say there weren’t tears, there were. I can’t say there weren’t a few, oh crap where is my…?!, there were. But there were also tons of smiles, snuggles, huge hugs, and bursts of pride. I am glad we don’t run our engines like this all the time. We have a week in March that looks like this for which I am steeling myself. We prepare before. We rest after. And we thrive in the middle.

Fog in the Woods

Fog in the Woods

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Monday morning brought us hoarfrost and I stayed in. Tuesday the weather brought in a heavy fog. Foggy weather is some of my favorite weather. Everything is quieter and softer on the edges. It is like the world has become a white canvas and each thing painted on it is starker, more saturated with color than usual – and it is, due to the water droplets clinging to everything. You can notice the details of each thing without the noise of the next thing trying to thump its way in.

I have terrible vision. I can not see a thing when I don’t wear contacts or glasses. I wouldn’t survive the zombie apocalypse – I’m scrappy and strong, but I’m crazy blind. I see things as I see them in the fog, really close up (like right up next to my face) and bright without much in the background. I’m never unaware, with what I do, that I am a. lucky I live in a time when this can be corrected and b. this could likely go downhill. I take a lot of my photos as I see, with a wide open aperture, and narrow depth of field.

After our sledding and hiking adventure the over weekend and the hoarfrost bidding me to photograph it on Monday, the quiet song of the fog gave me the final push out the door. I got the dogs’ collars on and we headed back out to the same spot we had been with the big beautiful trees. I knew there were some places I’d like to photograph in the fog and it would be an easy place for me to run the dogs by myself. I like to be able to navigate a setting before taking them off-leash since working on recall for our dogs has been in a very controlled environment due to leash laws in our town. Our two (especially Leo who seemed to have never been on a walk before we got him from the ARL) are still learning walking commands.

I had to beat the fog burn-off so we hurried out and up the hill. The dogs were so excited to be on a hike and smell EVERYTHING. There wasn’t another person in the whole place (though I could hear a car driving circles in the parking lot every once in a while when I got to a clearing). While it seemed we had been racing the sun as it burned off the fog in town, here just outside of town, in the forest, it hung low and thick in the trees. In places, I could hardly see around a corner. It obscured the view across the lake. It was like walking in a dream, with the dogs bounding through the clouds and snow-covered trees, happily playing with each other. It was incredibly peaceful. The dogs slept so soundly that afternoon.

A few days later, I took Jeff with me. He wasn’t sure about going and thought up five different things to do first. I insisted it would be fun and when we got there he said he had no idea. Watching the dogs in their element alone is worth driving the few minutes out of town. Working with them on their recall, and walking skills, and just getting some extra exercise is an added bonus. For us, being in nature, especially in the winter is so very important. The trail by our house has been closed all winter and it has been such a loss to us this year. So, we are getting creative. We are having to look beyond what is right in front of us, use a wider depth of field and see what else we can do. Like I have said before, post-pandemic this has been hard for a lot of us and has taken a lot more effort, but has proven worth it.

The following weekend, we took the boys to the woods with us. They got to experience the dogs running free too. Ben and Sam were a little more nervous about it. They are afraid of losing the dogs and say they are tired of all the hiking. It was crowded and muddy since the snow had melted so their experience wasn’t quite the spiritual event I had had the first time in the fog. They did, however, concede that hiking wasn’t so bad, the dogs did have a good time, and it was pretty fun – which is a win from these two.

January leading into February in this part of the world can be a hard time for a lot of people, especially right now. A lot of days only seeing what’s in front of you is all you can do. And that’s ok. Focus is good. Quiet and rest are good. Sometimes someone comes along and reminds you to widen your view and take an adventure. I hope if this is you, you find your way to the woods.

I may be a hobbit…

I may be a hobbit…

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January in Iowa is a bit dismal. We learn to push on with exercise, take our Vitamin D, and find the sun when we can get it. This year I was even gifted a “Happy Light” for Christmas to get simulated rays when the sun disappears for days at a time.

Our family has been pretty good over the years about stopping the hibernation cycle my body desperately craves when the sun abandons the Northern Hemisphere for its equatorial beach vacation. We take walks in knee-deep snow, make forts and snow families, slide down anything remotely slick, and ball up snow and wing it at one another whenever possible. One year, during an ice storm we even called out the neighbor kids to compete in the Olympic games, replete with events like luge, skeleton, speed skating, ice hockey, etc on the sidewalks and in the street. It was a blast. A couple of years ago we all got snow shoes and we have sleds at the ready whenever the snow falls.

This year, after having covid in November and December’s temperatures hitting record lows, we were slow to get out much. We were finding things to do indoors. It felt like wading through mud to drag myself out in the cold. And as I’ve mentioned in past posts, we have been running like crazy for activities. Post-pandemic lockdown, for us, this feels so much more overwhelming than it used to. After having taken a breath and rested from all of it – we didn’t really want to go back to all of the yeses, and really haven’t. We have been very careful and choosy about what we say yes to. However, the kids remain busier than ever wanting to find their places in the social, athletic, and academic realms.

So, in the midst of a weekend of Show Choir and basketball, me having yet another cold of some sort, and Bella broke a tooth that just bled and bled, and clearly was a painful experience for her (she ended up having surgery later). I was hesitant to say yes to a friend I adore spending time with and whose kids are great friends of our kids. She was asking us to go play in the snow and I wasn’t sure how much bandwidth we all had for that, but it sounded so tempting.

At best we could hike while the kids went sledding. At worst, we could stand and talk while the kids played. I decided to say yes. So Jeff, the kids, and I packed up our snow gear. We negotiated to go to a spot close by so we didn’t have to drive so far each way, I think that would have been the death of this particular trip, and we headed out.

It’s such a strange thing for me. I could go months without leaving the house. I can get exercise with all the equipment and streaming videos we have. I can get all of my work done within this house. I can talk to people online, on the phone (this is rare if I’m being honest), on facetime, on text… and then one day someone gets me to go outside and it’s like – Holy Shit look at the world! It’s amazing! Like I’m this ridiculous human who forgot it was there and is rediscovering it for the first time. I take big heaping gulps of fresh air and let the unfiltered sun warm my face. And I reenter society – well kind of – by that I mean, I become less of a hermit – I go to coffee shops, or even sometimes have lunch with friends. I go places with my dogs sometimes. It’s strange and ridiculous, but also amazing.

We went to a place somewhat familiar to me. I’d been swimming there before a couple of times. We hiked an enormously steep sled hill and watched the kids soar down. We hiked a path in the woods and enjoyed how still it was and how incredibly beautiful the snow looked clinging to the trees. I was like a little kid on a snow day. I was so happy to be there with my friends. We rejoined the kids and watched them race down as we hiked back to the car to hit the local coffee shop – tired and cold but fulfilled.

That Monday, there was hoarfrost on everything in the morning. It was so cold, I took photos from the windows. The ice crystals on everything made the trees and grasses look feathery and light. I could feel myself being pulled to go out but I stayed inside that morning. That didn’t last too many more days.

Glitz and Glam

Glitz and Glam

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Our oldest son, Ben who has quickly become everything that is “teenager” is taking advantage of his eighth-grade year to try out all of the things. This is encouraged by the school and community prior to entering high school. We think it’s a pretty good idea as well. In practice, however, it is pretty hectic AND we still feel like we are missing some things. Ugh, Mock Trial already happened? Ok, I can do Knowledge Bowl, but I have to miss most of the practices because they are scheduled at the same time I’m already double booked for Basketball and Honor Choir. I can’t be on a different team in Basketball because I have Strength and Conditioning and Show Choir in the mornings so I can only go to half the practices. I have to miss Board Game Club and GSA for the next two months for my other activities. I can only attend doctor’s appointments during school hours. I have Show Choir Friday and Honor Band all next Saturday. I can’t go out for Jazz Band because I ran out of time in a day. What time of year does speech contest happen again? Did we miss that? It also means “where are we supposed to be right now? – someone check the calendar!”

Our schedules on the other hand mean all hands on deck. Sam is in baseball in some form year-round now and has an additional activity each season. Right now, we are in basketball and baseball season. I am in the midst of a flurry of creative deadlines. Jeff is in legislative season, which means longer hours at work trying to push bills through on top of his regular duties and the requirements of an election year. This means extra face time with the legislature, judiciary, and governor.

This all leads us to a mid-January Friday night. Ben has been practicing Show Choir two mornings a week and several weekends for most of the school year. He has really fallen in with this group of kids and enjoys singing and dancing. We found out from his choir instructors he is a leader in the group and doing very well at it. We were anxiously looking forward to his first competition. Show Choir in our town is a big deal. The high school kids often do very well, ranking high in the state. Plus it’s just really nice to see your kid do something totally new and shine in his own work and the enjoyment of it. I love watching this type of thing and was in Show Choir in high school, but it was nothing like this. Getting to see my kid do this is pretty thrilling for me.

The grandparents were all excited to get to watch as well. My parents were going to get to stream the show from Arizona. Jeff’s parents were going to come down for the weekend to see Ben perform and see Sam play basketball.

Schedules began to come together as we got closer to the date and it became apparent that the Governor’s Inaugural Ball was going to fall on the same evening as Ben’s first Show Choir performance. I understand that the ball is an honor. I do enjoy getting dressed up, eating a lovely meal, and dancing. This year, though, I was feeling less excited about it.

Four years ago when we were invited for the first time, Jeff was fairly new to state government and we were so optimistic about so many things. A lot has changed since then. Not to say we aren’t optimistic about the hard work we can do. It’s just the political climate has become so volatile since then. The uphill climb has become steeper instead of ever leveling out. My own political leanings identify further and further from those who were throwing this shindig. And I didn’t want to miss my kid’s very first Show Choir competition.

I ordered my dress. Jeff got fitted for his tux. We got everything in order for the boys for the Show Choir competition. Thanks to Jeff’s parents and a little help from the neighbors, things were taken care of. Then Jeff threw out a suggestion. “What if we just wear our formal clothes to the competition and head straight to the ball from there?” I thought about it for a moment. “That might actually work.” With the timing we had, we could get from one place to the next if we hurried.

So, we did. We parked in a school parking lot 35 minutes from our town and speed walked in a gown and tux into a high school full of people. We just so happened to be checking our tickets in when our school’s Show Choir walked past and we were able to surprise Ben by showing up just before he went on. He had been voicing his understanding yet disappointment of our absence at his first performance. He seemed pretty happy to see us. I was glad we could be there and he could know we were cheering him on.

The kids did an amazing job. They sang and danced their excited hearts out. The crowd roared. I nervous-sweated and cried a little. Their hard work showed.

We left immediately following the performance – not without quite a few questioning looks, and comments from friends – we just let them know we were free to be alternates should anyone need it. All dressed up in our sparkles, glitz and glamour – ready to go.

We both felt more settled by the time we arrived at the ball. We discussed on the way how we could enjoy this night for what it was. We were getting to do all of it. We got to see Ben perform. Now we could relax, have a good time, eat, dance, and talk to the people we take pleasure in speaking with. And we did just that, with an amusing story to share about our night.

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Project Life 365

Project Life 365

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In my earlier go-rounds of college, throughout my art classes, I took photography courses. These were in film photography and while at times I loathed the long hours processing chemicals in the dark room, I did really enjoy shooting and developing. I gained knowledge and understanding to manually shoot and not rely on any auto settings from the start, to play around with the enlarger, and grasp editing with light. I like learning how things evolved from beginning to present to better unravel how they work, these classes gave me that. Through this comprehension, I have been able to grasp how to shoot technically. Through my painting and drawing practices, I am able to see subject matter as a composition.

When children arrived in our lives and travel became more prevalent, we decided a camera may be a good investment for my artwork, our family, and our travels. It became my easiest mode of expression. Hauling out painting supplies, sitting down to paint, and putting them away was becoming quite the task with little ones around, especially when they had ideas of schedules of their own. As they got bigger, they wanted to touch the paintings. All. The. Time. There was nowhere safe to keep my art supplies in the house. One day I left a small painting to dry on the piano and shut the door thinking no one could reach it (or notice it). Not five minutes later, the painting had tiny fingerprints on it and every key of the piano needed to be scrubbed.

My camera could be put in a safe bag on a high shelf and needed no prep or tear down. It could come with us on walks or bike rides. It could help record our days without interruption. And I was finding, as I used it more, it was helping to keep me present. I was not off thinking about something somewhere else. I was observing my kids and our surroundings, photographing what was right there.

So, in Sam’s first year, I decided I wanted to do a photo challenge. If I was going to have this nice piece of equipment, maybe I should be a little disciplined about using it and practice each day. So I found Project Life.

I don’t remember how I found it or how it happened to be that particular one that I chose. There are so many of them now, but I am so glad it was this one. It was a tremendous group of people involved. I met friends from all over the world through that photo challenge who I still chat with to this day. Linda in Sweden who writes books sent my niece a note when she was born. Carrie with her big, fluffy dog and fiance makes me so happy watching her wedding countdown and gorgeous photos from St. Louis. Allison met us in Touilleries when Jeff and I visited Paris and spoke to us on the phone for an hour and a half before our trip with advice on getting around. Watching Patty develop her painting style and post about her grandkids, Harry’s black and whites, Peter’s horses… there are so many more. 

The prompts for this challenge felt insightful. The Project Life runners went on to write a book after the year. The participants were so disappointed to be done but we stuck together for years after. I sporadically searched my files over the last couple of years to see if I had saved the prompts. I am a digital packrat. I swore I had. Then, one day in December, I found them, tucked away in an old Dropbox file. I was thrilled. It was getting close to another January, just in time to start again, and honestly now that school was done, it was a good time to take up the photo challenge again. I was feeling this in so many ways.

My mom used to laugh because I would tell her my dreams when I woke up. I always thought they must mean something. Jeff listens to them now. I don’t know if he thinks it’s silly like my mom, but he quietly sits and listens like it is the most interesting story. I love him for that. I love him for a great many things, but that is one of them. While I was going to school for the last couple of years I had two recurring dreams. One involved a hotel with a swimming pool in the middle and lots of school kids. The other was that I went into houses I used to live in and suddenly would discover there were whole spaces I hadn’t realized were previously there. The whole time I lived there, there was a door or another part of the house that I just simply hadn’t seen. I read recently that this means you are gaining large amounts of knowledge or expanding your mind and your dreams reflect that in this way. So, perhaps dreams do mean something. Or maybe some whackadoo just hit the mark – who knows? I felt this one.

Over the time that I was in school, it makes sense that I was expanding my knowledge and mind exponentially. My fear was that wouldn’t continue when I graduated. Continued learning is a big goal for me. It always has been. While I am still considering further education, for now, I want to ensure I continue some of the disciplines and practices that will ensure I keep moving forward. So, I took up Project Life again, because I wanted to get back to my photography work.

Already, I am remembering not only how it grounded my practice but how it made me look at things more creatively. For instance when thinking of a “Sign of Winter”, the answer so easily could be, snow. However, I considered the hat and gloves on the heat vent, the oranges in the bowl on the table that we eat because they are in season, and I landed on the curtain that stands partially open to let any light in during the dreary days with all white behind it because the color of winter is white, the sky, the ground, all of it.

Part way into the month, as the memories started to roll in on Timehop, I suddenly realized, it has been exactly ten years since I did this challenge the first time. It filled me with a sort of bittersweetness. The boys were 4 and just a few months, and now they are 14 and 10. It will be interesting to see how time, experience, and perception change my photos. It will be interesting to see where this journey takes us as I continue to challenge and stretch myself.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

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Over winter break Ben was signed up for a couple of classes through Polk County Conservation. One of them was canceled due to a lack of interest. I was pretty disappointed, it was a survival course about the proper way to build fires and survive in the wild. Perhaps I should suggest the class for adults – I am honestly really interested in learning how to do these things better (though my fire building has improved as of late). The other was the one he was really excited about so we were all glad that one was still on. It was an air rifle class. He learned gun safety for the first half and then they went target shooting for the second half. He had a blast and found out he is a pretty good shot.

I am not going to run out and buy him a gun anytime soon. The kid is still a bleeding heart (though he won’t admit it when it comes to actually shooting something other than a target he shies away). But I do like the thought of him having an understanding of how the equipment works and an ability to use it. I don’t mind him target shooting, and at some point, gun use will be his own decision. In the meantime, as long as guns exist, I’d like the boys to understand how to be around them safely (and if I’m being really honest, not be the only one in the room who doesn’t know what to do with one).

While Ben was in class, Sam and I drove the loops of Jester Park checking out the elk and bison and enjoying some time alone together. We decided we were hungry and had a brunch date at the diner, just the two of us before heading back to pick up Ben.

The rest of the week consisted of trips to coffee shops, lots of board games, books, and long chatty walks until New Year’s Eve. In the past this day has consisted of the Science Center for the balloon drop, decorating the house, and inviting over friends for a night of games or movies. This year, however, the boys really wanted to keep the whole affair low-key. I think we wore them out doing all of the Christmas things. So we spent the day relaxing together and the evening having a simple meal with raspberry sorbet, something I really love, for dessert. The boys sipped on sparkling cider in fancy glasses while we played board games and video games together until midnight. We intermittently checked in on the New Year’s Eve shows and dressed up a little, but mostly, we just spent time together. It was so nice.

January 1st has changed for us too. We used to make big, sweeping resolutions like weight loss, exercise goals, and points for success. Now we look toward betterment, balance, and hope for a good year ahead. We have a fun tradition of filling out a quiz each year for each member of the family. The boys like to read back the old ones. It’s starting to take a long time to get through all of them. But, we love it and look forward to some of the really funny answers they used to give or remember things about each other we’ve forgotten. We make videos for our hopes for the year ahead. I compile the one-second-a-day video from the year we just had. We watch and recall – we can never believe all that happened in one year.

Reflecting on the year we had, looking to the year ahead, it may be an artificial break in time. We may have invented the calendar and decided January 1st was the time to turn over the year, but real change or not – it is a time we all have chosen to contemplate our lives for a moment, embrace the joy those around us have given us, and make purposeful choices on how to move forward. I think that is a beautiful thing.

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